Ward's Rules of Poetry

1.	Never say anything in a poem that you wouldn't say in a bar.
2.	If you can't be profound be vague.
3.	Learn the difference between poetry and hebephrenia.
4.	The McNeilley Rule:Cut off the last line! This will make your poem better! (If this doesn't work, keep cutting off the last line.)
5.	Sloganeering is about what you said and how you said it. Poetry is about how you avoided saying it.
6.	Poetry lies between synonyms.
7.	The difference between self-expression and communication is poetry.
8.	If you can't spell a word don't use it.
9.	Bad poetry haunts the writer. Good poetry haunts the reader.
10.	Don't express. Evoke.
11.	Technique is the difference between a good story and a good poem.
12.	The trick isn't to avoid being understood. The trick is to be understood too quickly.
13.	If it doesn't sound like poetry to a Lower Slobovian it isn't.
14.	Every modern poem must contain at least one em dash abuse.

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