"What is it about these new responsibilities that makes you
uncomfortable?"
"Everything," Jim insisted. "I don't want to be like my
grandfather. I don't want to do the things he did. I don't want
to find myself driving to the middle of Manitoba to see the
Manitou Rock. I don't want to travel all the way to Toronto in
the middle of summer to stare at a building. I don't want to
make any more speeches. I don't want to do any of that crap."
"Tell us about the Manitou Rock," Pinky requested.
"Alright. The Manitou Rock. Once a year Grandpa would take
me on his `Canadian haj'. This was how we'd spend our summer
vacations. First we drive to a reservation in the Manitoba
interior. Some place near God's Lake Narrows. Christ, I had
never heard of the place before he took me the first time. Now,
the Irish have something called a Blarney Stone. You know, you
hang upside down and kiss it so you'll learn the `gift of
Blarney'. How to bullshit, basically. Anyway, these guys in
Manitoba have a rock that God is supposed to speak through.
Actually, it's just the wind, but who cares? Hell, you'd think
every religious fanatic in the world would be beating a path to
get there. But nobody's ever heard of it! Obviously, these
Manitobans don't know anything about attracting tourists.
"The first time I ever heard Grandpa make a speech was on
one of these trips. I was just a kid. We swung over to
Saskatchewan. They were debating whether or not to start
Medicare. The opponents complained about the cost. Gramps gave
his `someday' speech. `Someday,' he said, `we will be less
concerned about the price of care than the price of neglect.'"
"And did they get this...Medicare?" Pinky interjected.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, they did. The critics called it
`socialized medicine'. First universal medical care system in
North America."
"And did this Medicare catch on?" Pinky inquired.
"Oh, sure. Pretty soon all of Canada had it. And now
there's people in Congress talking about it."
"So your grandfather wasn't always `fighting in the shade'?"
Pinky asked pointedly.
"What?" Jim was taken aback by the tone and text of the
question.
"I mean, occasionally your grandfather had his tiny
victories," Pinky clarified.
"Well, yeah, I suppose so," Jim conceded. "But he was
hardly the only one arguing for Medicare. It's not like Medicare
was his idea or anything. He just saw an argument and couldn't
resist adding his two cents worth. He was like that. Always
arguing about something. Hell, you could synchronize your watch
with him and he'd argue the time of day with you."
"You think he made these speeches because he liked making
speeches? You think he argued for the sake of arguing?"
"No, not really," Jim conceded. "But take this Medicare
debate. Gramps travels a thousand miles to some hole in the
ground in the middle of nowhere. Vagina, Saskatchewan--"
"--Regina," Pinky corrected.
"Whatever. Regina, Saskatchewan, then. Just a couple of
hundred miles from Climax, Saskatchewan, by the way. He goes
there to argue for government-sponsored universal medical care."
"And?" Pinky prompted.
"You see, that's the part that I don't understand. He was
arguing for the same type of medical care that he himself refused
to provide."
"Oh, I see what you're saying," Pinky said. "Your
grandfather wouldn't treat anyone outside of his own blood
relatives. Not even Mattie, his wife. And, yet, here he was
going out of his way to campaign on behalf of medical care for
complete strangers."
"Exactly," pronounced Jim.
"And this doesn't make any sense to you."
"Not a damn bit," Jim chirped.
"But didn't your grandfather make you swear not to treat
anyone outside your family?"
"Yes, but I wasn't the one that was galavanting across the
continent--"
"Don't you think your grandfather had to take the same oath
before learning the medical practices he later taught you?"
"Slow down," Jim begged. "Say that again."
"Don't you think your grandfather was bound by the same oath
of secrecy?"
"Yeah, but why did he have to take such an oath?"
"Because his parents had had to take it, just as their
parents had had to take it. And so on."
"Yeah, but why should we continue this stupidity? Is it
some kind of tradition? I heard someone say that tradition was
foolishness, sanctified by time."
"I'm sure it wasn't your grandfather who said that," Pinky
asserted.
"No, I just heard it on some talk show. But you know what I
mean. If an old way of doing something doesn't make sense any
more we have to change."
"Yes," Pinky conceded. "But promises, however ancient, must
be kept."
"Promises?" What the hell did all of this have to do with
promises?
Pinky said nothing for a moment. Then he apologized for
this digression and asked: "What were we talking about before we
got onto this?".
"The Manitou Rock."
"Oh, yes. Go on, tell us about this Manitou Rock."
"So, anyway, we'd go up to this Manitou Rock and stay there
for a day or so, listening to the wind whistle through this rock.
Grandpa even learned some Cree so he could talk to some of the
elders there. Then we'd drive two thousand miles to Toronto.
Not to see the Blue Jays or the Maple Leafs, mind you. No. We'd
go downtown and stare at this building. Hot as hell, usually.
And there we are, standing on a sidewalk, with a bunch of other
lunatics--`pilgrims', Grandpa would call them--looking up at the
side of a building. Me, I'd always wander off so no one would
would know that I was with one of these loony tunes."
"The old city hall," Pinky divined.
"Yeah! It's a public archives building now, I think. Hey,
how did you know?"
"I take it your grandfather never told you about E. D. Jones."
"No. What about him?"
"Places, everyone!" Pinky announced. Jim's hand felt the
buzz of activity as the Ponders readied themselves for another
presentation. They throbbed with energy, trying to create a
visible image on the pond surface despite the mid-day sun. As an
image of a British-style courtroom scene came into focus Jim
could see that their efforts were not entirely successful. The
colours were all faded pastels.
"Hold on," he paused, "I've got an idea."
Jim withdrew his hand and went to the front patio. The
table there had one of those large, gaudy sunscreen parasols on
it. It took him two trips, one for the table and one for the
parasol, to set it up between the pond and the sun. Looking down
at the Ponder's image Jim could see that his plan had worked.
"Perfect!" he pronounced as he re-established contact with
the Mensaplasms.
"Excellent!" applauded Pinky. "Thank you. Now, on with our
story."
The court scene showed a thin, ferret-faced lawyer in a
white wig and what looked like a graduation gown. The solicitor
was questioning a taller, stoutly built younger man.
"And is the man who offered you this bribe in the court room
at this time?"
"Yes," responded the witness, pointing behind the lawyer.
"He's right there."
"Let the record show," the barrister related, "that Mr.
Jones has indicated that he is referring to the defendant, Mr.
Barsby."
A quick pan took in the accused, Mr. Barsby. Barsby was a
pompous-looking, self-possessed endomorph. Incensed by this
exposure, Barsby rose from his chair and pointed a finger back at
his accuser.
"I'll get you for this, Jones. You'll never work in this
town again!"
After the judge called for order in his court, and after
defence counsel had restrained Mr. Barsby, the prosecutor
continued with his questioning.
"And what did you do when the accused demanded this bribe?"
"I went straight to the police," Jones testified. "And they
made arrangements to witness the payoff."
The scene switched. Twelve men sat around a large table.
The one at the head of the table was a round, cherubic type with
a ready smile that belied his commanding presence. Clearly, this
man was chairing the meeting.
"It seems that we have a problem regarding the tenders for
our new City Hall," the chairman observed. Obviously, this was
the mayor and, it followed, the others were the city councillors.
"The lowest bid has been submitted by none other than Mr. E.
D. Jones. It seems that some of us here have a history with this
man and are opposed to granting him this or any other city
contract."
"You're damned right!" barked one of the councillors, a
burly man with a distinctive handlebar moustache. "That bastard
isn't going to get any work from us. Not after what he did to
Barsby!"
Four others chimed in their support for this stand: one
sporting a Van Dyke goatee, one dark-haired with a massive,
curved proboscis spreading like a mountain range across his face,
one red-bearded giant and one shifty-eyed maverick who might have
been more at ease seated at a poker table.
"Then that is our dilemma," surmised the mayor. "If we vote
in favour of the Jones bid we will endure the enmity of the five
councillors opposed. With the crucial budget vote coming up,
this could be more than difficult. If, on the other hand, we
vote against Mr. Jones' bid we will all have to explain our
actions to our constituents. And to our consciences--those of us
who have them."
This last remark was accompanied by a sly grin at the five
disgruntled members.
"So," the mayor asked, "does anyone have a compromise
solution to offer?"
"I do!" cried a voice. The mayor's eyes widened as he fixed
his gaze on the speaker. It was "Mr. Handlebars" again.
"We will offer the contract to this Mr. Jones," began the
councillor, sneering as he spat out the name, "but only on one
condition."
"And, what, pray tell, would that be?" wondered the mayor.
"That he not be mentioned on the cornerstone."
Van Dyke, The Unhappy Hooknose, Redbeard and Shifty chuckled
triumphantly at Handlebar's proposal.
"No architect would ever agree to such a condition," Van
Dyke asserted before adding derisively: "Not even E. D. Jones."
"Ingenious," chortled Redbeard. "Jones could never accept
the contract. If he did, he wouldn't be able to account for the
time spent building the edifice. What have you been doing this
last year, Mr. Jones? You say you built the City Hall? But why
is your name not mentioned as the contractor?"
Again the scene shifted. The mayor sat in a large, leather
chair in his office. Seated in a smaller, armless chair on the
other side of his wide oak desk was E. D. Jones.
"Mr. Jones," commenced the mayor awkwardly. "As you know,
some of the members of the council are opposed to granting you
this contract. After much debate, we have reached what I hope
you will understand is a rather difficult compromise."
"And what does this `compromise' entail?" Jones queried.
"The city council will be awarding you this important
assignment but will be attaching a proviso."
"And that `proviso' would be...?"
"You will not be permitted to engrave your name in the
cornerstone. This, of course, means that you will not be the
architect of record. Now, I will understand if this condition is
unacceptable to you--"
"No, no," Jones interjected. "I think that I can live with
that restriction. But I hope that the council will accept some
of my conditions."
"Your conditions, Mr. Jones?"
"Yes, your Worship. I will be working in secret, using
blinds to conceal the front of the building before its unveiling.
And I will be observing no deadline."
"No deadline?"
"I am paid for the job. It is in my best interests to
finish as soon as possible. Nevertheless, I will finish the job
when I finish it, and not before. Now, I will understand if this
condition is unacceptable to you."
The mayor smiled as he heard his guest parrot him. Then the
mayor turned serious as he considered the counterproposal. His
smile returned only when he had made up his mind.
"The council has made its conditions and you have met them.
Since your conditions do not contradict the council's...I should
think we have a deal!"
The two men shook hands.
The next scene showed E. D. Jones in work clothes, standing
on a scaffold some forty feet up an unfinished brick wall. Jones
was looking up over his right shoulder, squinting his eyes in the
noon sun. The scaffold held a small drawing board, a stack of
bricks and some mortar. In his left hand he held a brick. His
right hand alternated between drawing a circle with a compass on
a piece of paper, writing some calculations with a quill pen and
grabbing a trowel to slap mortar onto the brick.
"Mr. Jones!"
Jones peered down to see the Unhappy Hooknose.
"You've taken seventeen months to complete this side of the
building. The opposite side is identical and took your men less
than two. Why are you insisting on erecting this side alone?"
Jones ignored the question as he concentrated on the work at
hand. Look up at the sky. Calculate. Scribble. Apply mortar
and carefully lay the brick onto the wall. More compass work.
Check those calculations. Adjust that last brick a little. Pat,
pat, pat with the bottom of the trowel. One final adjustment.
In a huff the Hooknose strode off. Later another voice called up
to Jones.
"Not finished yet, Mr. Jones?"
It was Shifty. Again, Jones ignored him. Shifty wandered
off. Still later the Mayor called up from below.
"How is the work going, sir?"
"I'm making remarkable progress," Jones assured him without
glancing down.
"Do you think you'll finish on schedule?" the Mayor
wondered.
"Don't have one," was Jones' retort. The Mayor accepted
this brusque reply and took his leave.
On the day of the grand unveiling dignitaries in formal wear
gathered at the front of the new edifice. A huge canvas covered
the front of the building. Children that tried to peek behind it
were quickly shooed away by guards. While the Mayor made his
speech on a podium on the steps of the new City Hall the five
cabal members grumbled amongst themselves.
"Finally!" spat Redbeard. "I thought the reprobate would
never finish!"
"Two bloody years!" Van Dyke cursed. "Two bloody years to
finish a plain wall."
"You'd think the donkey was working on the Sistine Chapel,"
commented a most unhappy Hooknose.
"Bastard!" was Shifty's contribution.
"Come on!" shouted Handlebars aloud. "Let's get on with
it!"
"Well," said the Mayor awkwardly, trying to demonstrate some
measure of elan, "without further ado...Mr. Jones, show the world
your masterpiece!"
Jones smiled at the crowd, including his detractors, and
yanked sharply on a rope in his hands. As the arras dropped the
onlookers "ooooed" and "aaaahed" at the stylish frontage with its
impressive baroque windows and Romanesque arches. Indeed, some
thought to themselves, this will be the finest piece of
architecture in the New World.
The canvas continued to descend. The second floor was a
breath-taking example of then-modern design: square windows
slanting inward from top to bottom and an ornate edge along the
corner.
With a snap of his wrist Jones brought the canvas to the
ground, revealing the entrance. For a moment the crowd stood
silent. This calm lasted until a small titter started up. This
grew into more flagrant sniggering. The laughter became
infectious. The Mayor's face broke into a smile and then a
chuckle. This became a signal. Soon the dignitaries were
clutching their chests and pointing at the sight before them.
Children seemed less amused. Some were frightened by the images
they saw above the entrance. Other young ones simply stared
incomprehensively at their elders. For their part, the elders
lost any pretence of dignity. Proper ladies fell to the ground,
giggling hysterically. Beside them fell their cackling escorts,
faces reddened as they gasped for air. From the ground they
pointed at the entrance of the building and at the five
men still standing, unmoved.
The cabal was struck dumb at the visage before them. They
stood as one, aghast at the spectacle just uncovered.
There, above the entrance to the new City Hall, were five
sculpted gargoyles, each more hideous than its neighbour. Each
was a garish caricature of a different cabal member. At the
extremes were Redbeard and Van Dyke. Higher up in the arch were
the Unhappy Hooknose and Shifty. At the top of this rogue's
gallery stood the largest and most unsightly visage: Handlebar's.
The image froze for a few seconds and then faded.
"Beautiful," was all Jim could say. "Beautiful."
Pinky waited for Jim to speak again. It took a while for
the question to form in Jim's mind.
"But, wait a minute," he finally asked, "what about the
side of the building? That's what took so long. That's what
Grandpa used to go see, not the front. I don't get it..."
"Watch," Pinky invited.
Another picture formed. It was an image Jim knew well:
Grandpa standing on the sidewalk, staring up at the side wall of
the old City Hall. Others mulled about, some looking up, most
simply trying to make their way past the enthralled. Grandpa
glanced up at the sky and then at his watch. His lips parted in
anticipation.
"What are you guys staring at?" asked a teenaged girl,
craning her neck to see what might be of such interest. Jason
McGuire turned to her and pointed up at the offset bricks that
formed the wall in front of them.
"You see that wall?" he asked. "Watch it closely. It's
almost time."
"Time?"
"Yes," Jason explicated, "the summer solstice."
"Solstice?"
"Yes. You know, when the sun is at its highest peak for the
year."
"Oh, yes," nodded the girl, "that solstice."
"Are you watching?" the old one asked.
"Yes," the girl promised. "But what am I watching for?"
The sun reached its annual zenith. Suddenly, shadows
appeared in the staggered bricks. A moment later these shadows
sharpened to form letters. Yes! There!
Spelled out in this penumbra for all to see were the letters
"E. D. Jones".
"Cool!" the girl exclaimed.
Grandpa swallowed hard. A tear trickled down his left
cheek. One minute and sixteen seconds after coming into view the
silhouetted characters faded from view.
Like the pilgrims, it would return next year.
On to Chapter 12
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