Sounds
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If we examine the repetitions of phonemes (colour coded in red, blue, brown, purple or green), we see at least ten salient clusters of alliteration/consonance and three assonantal groupings--all short or long "i" sounds. Notice how the frequency of these repetitions peaks in the penultimate strophe and line.
With your amber eyes, yellow and red
of you, sun-sign heart like a blood orange
suspended in a porcelain cage, say you burn
in a courtyard and your ichor drips like honey
on the firewood, on the branches bound in fasces,
flesh fumed in the air, dark as molasses,
but what you are hovers as mist, as the spirit
of water is invisible until steam makes the sky
waver. Say you die, scorched into ashes, say
you pass from here to there, with your marigold
eyes, the garden darker for lack of one golden flower,
would bees mourn, would crickets keen, drawing long
blue chords on their thighs like cellists?
Say you disperse like petals on the wind,
the bright stem of you still a living stroke
in memory, still green, still spring, still the tint
and the tang of you in my throat, unconsumed.
_____ Each of these contributes to the listener's experience of the tone, pace and mood. For example, the reiterations of the "r" sounds in strophe #4, peaking with "garden darker", reflects the frustration and realization of sudden loss, as when we might cry "Argh!" In the final strophe monosyllabic words after "memory" quicken the pace, leading up to "unconsumed". The sibilance is menacing, recalling its earlier appearance in describing the steam and death. At the same time, the usually calming "l" sounds go from the beginnings of syllables to the ends of words, signalling that at the end of everything there will be an eternal lull. The "t" sounds klaxon in climax, surviving all the other reiterations before trailing off into the final word: "unconsumed".
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Look at the finest prose or prose with linebreaks and you will not find anywhere near this density of trope and sonic device. So far, this is, at worst, lineated prose poetry at its finest.
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Is it free verse, though?
_____ Contrary to popular belief, the operative term in "free verse" is the latter, not the former. The central question becomes: "Does this poem have coherent rhythms?"
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